Have you ever had a moment when you just knew God was sharing a special message just with you? Like an intimate conversation just between you and your Father?
This morning I was driving by myself in the car thinking about all that is going on and what all I need to do in the next few days, when God and I had one of those intimate conversations. Honestly, it was less me praying and more me just thinking. But He reached down and gave me exactly what I didn’t know I needed.
My dad has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. We received the diagnosis two weeks before Thanksgiving. We were able to pull the kids out of school and travel down to Texas to spend those two weeks together. God blessed us with some special moments with Dad during that time and it was hard to leave to come home.
We thought we would have a few more months with him. We thought we would get one more Christmas. However, the cancer has been progressing very rapidly even over the last week. I’ll be flying down to Texas this week to be with my mom and spend some more time with my dad. Dealing with the emotions of losing my dad on top of trying to take care of my kids and make sure that Christmas is as normal for them as possible takes a toll. It’s hard, but it would be so much harder without having my loving Father to carry me through this time, to hold me, to give me the strength I need for each moment.
And that brings me back to this morning…
Brian is at a conference, Daniel has plans with friends this afternoon, and I still had a few things to get for Christmas which I couldn’t get with a certain little girl in tow. (I don’t know what I would have done without online shopping this year!) So, off I go to Walmart at 8:30am on a Sunday morning. (Thankful church doesn’t start till 11am!)
I was heading home, thinking about Dad and Christmas and taking the car back into the shop and lining up childcare for after school and packing this and that, when I heard this song on KLOVE. You Are Loved by Stars Go Dim. I had heard it before. I liked it. I just never paid that much attention to the words. But today I HEARD them, really heard them, at least the chorus anyway.
You are loved
If your heart’s in a thousand pieces
If you’re lost and you’re far from reason
Just look up, know you are loved
Just look up, and know you are loved
When it feels like somethings missing
If it hurts but you can’t find healing
Just look up, know you are loved
Just look up, know you are loved.
But the amazing thing was when I really did look up. I looked up into the sky and there it was. There was my message. A message God so intimately whispered in my heart.
A cross in the sky right in front of me.
He used two planes going in different directions to create a message for me. To show me that I am loved. He actually loves me so much, He sent his son for me. My savior came as a little baby. Born in a stable. A tiny little boy. Human yet Lord. And as He grew He felt joy and happiness and sadness and pain. He took His love for me all the way to the cross.
And in the midst of my own pain and sadness, I know He loves me and He’s not leaving me to walk this road alone. He’s right there beside me.
So when this life hurts, I just have to look up…
Living thru faith,